I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
