Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
