I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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