I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
