I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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