It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
