Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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