sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize