we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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