You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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