It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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