Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
