Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
