u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
