winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
