last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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