Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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