You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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