You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
