I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
