Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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