Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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