On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize