would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
