do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
