ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
