how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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