The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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