she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
