I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
