Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
