I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
