I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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