Whod you bang
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize