Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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