He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
