Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
