I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
