:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
