What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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