You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
