Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
