Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
