he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
