she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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