i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
