I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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