Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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