question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
what day is it and did you see me today?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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