I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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