Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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