Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't put those talents on a resume
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
