hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
