dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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