he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
