I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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