I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
