Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
