Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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