Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
