Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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